Improving relationships and connecting with others requires understanding that people are emotional first and rational second. But this is just one piece of the emotional puzzle you can use to help connect and build relationships with others.
Emotional First and Rational Second
Understand that people will act with their emotions and appeal to the person with empathy. Empathy is a crucial characteristic of leaders. The only way to manage and lead people is through caring relationships.
Fundamental Techniques in Handling People
In the book “How to Win Friends and Influence Others” by Dale Carnegie, Dale talks about a few principles you should follow when handling people, no matter who they are.
- Don’t criticize, condemn or complain
The first principle is about using empathy to try to be understanding. People are different, and understanding their personalities and quirks can be the key to gaining that trust and will help you know when to be tolerant and sympathetic.
- Give honest and sincere appreciation
People know when you are not being true to your word or sincere about what you are saying. Be honest and show people that when you do something, you do it with the benefit of everyone in mind. Appreciation can affect someone massively if you appeal to what people care about, but there are simple things that you can do that will affect everyone.
- Arouse in the other person an eager want
Convincing people to help your cause requires them to join the cause. We have to be motivated and buy into what is said. Making sure people know that their opinions matter through your words and actions as well as sharing ownership of the ideas and responsibilities they create.
Tips for Being Likeable
Carnegie also had a few tips on what is needed to be an approachable and liked person. These tips included:
1. Become genuinely interested in other people.
2. Smile!
3. Remember that a person’s name is, to that person, the sweetest and most important sound in any language.
4. Listening and encouraging openness.
5. Talk about what people care about most.
6. Make the other person feel important, and do it sincerely.
There are additional ideas available in the book “How to Win Friends and Influence People” and by using these tips and the ideas within our series of E.I. blogs, you can work on improving your relationships and growing your influence with the help of Emotional Intelligence.
